Goodness in Brokenness

    It started as any other day. We did whatever ministry our host had for us that day. Later in the day we had dinner and then it was announced that our two teams (Selah and Flocka Sheep) would be having a night of worship. Now I love musical worship and it holds a very special place in my heart, so naturally I was excited; however, I wasn’t prepared for what the Lord would open my eyes to. 

    The night started out with 30 minutes of silence as we all prayed and prepared our hearts for what the Lord wanted us to see. We were able to take communion (which in the jungle of Honduras is just crushed saltines and water). I don’t take communion lightly.  It’s sets my eyes on the cross and all that Jesus did. It makes me stop and stand in wonder of all that He did for me. It reminds me that even if I was the only one, Jesus loves me so much that He still would have gone to that cross just to save me. I’m not worthy of that, I don’t deserve it and yet Jesus willing went to the cross for my sins. For the things I’ve done that I can’t take back. The things I’ve felt shame from, He still forgives me and frees me from them. Because of His body, His blood, and the price He paid, I can walk in complete freedom in Him. Communion and worship always set my heart and mind  back on where they need to be. Solely facing Jesus, bringing Him all my reverence and praise.

    Worship music started playing on someone’s phone. It was so beautiful watching both of the teams here in Honduras worshiping the Father wholeheartedly. Throughout worship, God continued to put 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 on my heart. Paul says, “the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  As a believer Jesus has given us His power and authority. The strongholds of our minds that are not of us and not of God can be cast out. After worship, one of our leaders asked if anyone needed prayer for things that we wanted to let go of. So many people were prayed over and I know that God broke strongholds that night. 

    The Lord put it on our leaders’ hearts to remind all of us that we have a weapon that is stronger than any thought. We have a sword that can slay any stronghold. Jesus has given us the power and the authority to cast out anything that is not of God. We can cast out any spirit of depression, anxiety, doubt, fear, insecurity, brokenness, and lies. We don’t have to be held captive by these thoughts.

    Lately, the Lord has been breaking me in so many ways. While brokenness is hard and the growing is uncomfortable, God has been showing me how loved I am by Him. He continues to bring the passage in Genesis of Hagar despairing in the desert to my mind. She cries, “I have now seen the God who sees me.” In all things God sees me and continues to love me. He calls me beloved, chosen, and known. Finding my identity as being loved by Him is something so beautiful. I’m eager and expectant to see how He continues to shape me into whatever He chooses. I see the God who sees me, and I will continue to seek and see His goodness in whatever circumstance.