I Will Forever Walk with a Limp

   ‘J, I’m on my knees asking God to let the struggle stop,’ I said to my team leader Jenna  as we sat with our cups of coffee in San Jose, Costa Rica. Jenna continued to remind me to ‘be love and struggle well.’ As we talked I was reminded of the story of Jacob.

  We’ve all read the story of Jacob, the one whose name means to grasp the heel which is a Hebrew idiom for a deceiver. Jacob lived up to that name. He deceived his brother (Esau) and his father (Isaac). Because of all of his deception, Jacob had to flee from his brother. Even after all of Jacob’s deception and sin, God still chose to bless Jacob. 

Genesis 28:13-15 says, 

“There above it stood the Lord, and he said: “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”” 

He’s the God of promises and He keeps those promises.

  Through the story of Jacob, God reminds us that He uses imperfect people. After some time Jacob is forced to meet up with Esau. In Scripture we see how nervous Jacob was to see his brother after all this time. Jacob makes preparations and then chooses to spend time alone. This is where we see God show up.

  Jacob wrestled with God. He didn’t win because when you wrestle with the Almighty you don’t beat Him. He didn’t beat God but he wrestled well with the Lord. Because Jacob wrestled well with the Lord, he got a new revelation of who he was called to be. Jacob couldn’t walk away the same, he was forever changed. The Bible tells us that when Jacob wrestled with God, his hip was popped out of socket. It only took one touch and Jacob was forever changed. Some speculate that Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his life. 

  See God did two huge things in this moment, He humbled Jacob by popping his hip out and changed Jacob’s name which gave him a whole new identity. During this time in the Near East,  changing someone’s name marked a significant change in that person’s life. God said to Jacob, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome” (Genesis 32:28). He was once called the deceiver and lived up to that name but when God changed his name, he had a new identity. He was now called Israel which means to struggle/wrestle with God. Jacob walked away a different person.

A few things that the Lord is teaching me right now and what He showed me through Jacob’s story:

   1. God gave Jacob a new identity. Not only did God physically change Jacob but Jacob started walking with a new identity. It makes me think of how I am now walking into a new identity in Christ. I’m walking into seeing myself as who Christ says I am.

   2.  To wrestle with someone means to be close to them. Jacob was so close   to God that his hip was popped out of socket. Jacob knew what it meant to  struggle well. It makes me look at how I’m currently wrestling with the Lord. The fact that I’m still wrestling with Him made me nervous at one point. ‘Shouldn’t I have been done wrestling with God over this by now?’ But wrestling with God doesn’t have a timeline and He’s the God of patience. So the fact that I’m still wrestling with Him means that I’m still close to Him.

   3. When you wrestle with the Almighty, you walk away forever changed. Jacob walked away with a new name and a limp, he was forever changed. It makes me ask myself as I wrestle with God, what will that one touch look like for me? What will be my limp? How will I look after this wrestling?

Updates: 

– We are now in the Dominican Republic working with a mission organization called Missions of Hope! We are doing a lot of street evangelism so please be praying for hearts and minds to open as we go to share the good news of Jesus.

-Our teams have changed and I am now on Daughters of Zion! Head over to my team mate Sarah’s blog to read her meet the team blog.